Important Advice To Your Younger Self

By Emma Colsey | Uncategorized

Apr 16

This one habit could be blocking you from achieving your goals.

You keep connecting with what your goals look like, how life will be different when you achieve it, how it’s going to feel. But I also know what it feels like to have that self-doubt niggling away in the back of your mind.

The other day I posted a question over on my Facebook page.

It was actually a question that I got asked recently by one of my Shine Squad members Sam Lidford as she was interviewing me for her conversation series on Leaving Corporate to Make A Difference. You can see the full interview down at the bottom of this page.

The question that was asked was…

What advice would you give to your 20-year-old self?

I thought it was a great question, so I decided to post it over on my own Facebook page to see what the answers would be from you guys.

I found the replies (which you can see HERE) quite interesting, especially when I compared them to my own reply to Sam in our interview.

I have spent a lot of time researching and practising shifts around my mindset, changing the way I choose to talk about and frame things that have happened in my life. It’s these changes in mindset that have had a huge impact on on my own self-belief, confidence and ability to enjoy my life.

Most of us tend to have a negative bias. This means we respond, remember or learn from negative experiences rather than positive ones.

We can easily remember insults rather than compliments, it’s remembering the failures rather than the wins, it’s dwelling on the unpleasant events rather than feeling grateful for the positive ones, it’s allowing one little thing to ruin your otherwise perfectly good day.

It’s how we are conditioned. We see the negative on the news, we gossip about the person who did something crazy and the research shows that our attention perks up more to negative based stories and so we see and spread more of them.

Once upon a time, this negative bias was used by our ancestors to keep us safe. But in our modern world having a negative bias can actually just lead to feelings of self-doubt, comparison, anxiety and as though you are not enough. It literally zaps the joy and happiness from life.

This was clearly represented with some of the responses that came up in my post. People talked about the things that they wouldn’t do, the things that they regretted, that if they could go back they would change.

Don’t marry the man

Don’t get over 200lb

Stay away from internet dating

Stay away from carbs

Now I’m not saying that these are bad. These lessons get to be recognised and have a place.

However, speaking this way about regrets can make you feel pretty crappy about yourself. Like you were wrong, bad or at fault.

Simple reframing of these statements takes you from a place of self-judgement and instead into a place of empowerment.

So don’t marry the man becomes – Know your own self-worth enough to only choose a partner that treats you like the beautiful badass that you are.

Don’t get over 200lb becomes – Remember that you are worthy of taking care of yourself and prioritise your health

Stay away from internet dating becomes – Follow your heart and know that you deserve love and you want to find a partner in a more organic way

Can you see how a negative bias statement can make you feel pretty crappy? Like you failed, like you are a person who makes mistakes, who messes up, they can lead you to feel not good enough. 

Negative bias memories and thoughts are feeding into your self doubt. They block happiness and can also stop you from progressing to your goals and you struggle to believe in yourself and your ability or feel as though you are enough.

Positively bias statements remind you of the lessons you get to learn from these life experiences but they can also empower you to make different choices going forward.

Can you see that, if you don’t know how to master your mindset and your negativity bias, you will have a hard time reaching your goals as you will be continually blocked by self-doubt?

This can be the power of having someone neutral so looking from an unbias outside perspective, to help you change your outlook. It’s what we do as part of our weekly group coaching calls that I deliver inside of the Shine Squad. To help you work through your blocks and challenges to be able to reach new heights.

Simple shifts in your thinking and working with a coach can bring about BIG changes in your results, but also your ability to enjoy life and the journey of self-development that you are on.

“Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your beliefs. Your beliefs become your habits, Your habits it’s become your reality”

– Jen sincero

CLICK HERE to find out more about becoming a Shine Squad member and access our weekly group coaching sessions.

Get ready to break through your self-doubt and finally realise your dreams.

Love Always


PS – Here is the interview where I share my journey to becoming an online coach. The up’s the downs and all of the challenges along the way.

I have a new website, Yey. head over to the new space now.