Is It Time To Prioritise Your Self Care?
Over the last couple of weeks I have been feeling somewhat out of sorts, and that’s not easy for me to admit. Because I kinda pride myself on having my shit together. You know it’s the thing that I have created a business around, it’s what I help other women with.
But you know what else I pride myself on? Being authentic and sharing with you my struggles as much as my wins. Because there is so much BS out there where people will have you believe that their life is perfect, but the truth is we all struggle from time to time. This is not to get any type of reassurance or affection, because I have worked on myself enough to know that I don’t need that from anyone else, only from myself and that is the point of this email. To share the tools that I use to turn things around, to recognise it and move through it rather than staying in that funk
I know that you too have the power and strength within you to overcome your challenging times too.
And the crazy thing is that, it wasn’t even anything major that happened to trigger these feelings within me. It was an accumulation of things that at the beginning of this week left me with feelings of anxiousness and almost panicked. My heart was racing constantly, having palpitations shortness of breath, extremely irritable and the most intense headaches where I felt like my head was going to explode.
Struggling to focus on anything without feeling stressed by it, didn’t want to move or do anything. Struggling with keeping up with work, having this kids off school for 2 weeks and the husband being away. And there is the real kicker when you feel guilty for not feeling right and like I should have my shit together.
So yeah, not feeling too great and in a normal situation I would be round at my mums for a hug and to offload the kids onto her for a minute or 6 hours.
I love where I live but living in a different country to your closest friends and family can be tough at times when you need those people the most.
I still have to be very aware of managing my own mindset, but I do feel like I have come out the other side and want to get back to feeling my fired up, high on life normal self.
So here are some of the steps that I have gone through to move through this with as much grace and ease as possible.
#1 Recognise it.
Simply notice that you don’t feel right and acknowledge it so that you can start to move through it instead of ignoring that it’s happening, burying your head in the sand, or to just numb it down with powering through, turning to food or a bottle of wine, or two.
Know that often there are times of breakdown just before the moment you are about to make a BIG breakthrough. FYI this is why most people give up and never actually achieve the results that they want, and I don’t say this to add pressure. I say this because I know if you take the space and work on this, you can still achieve your big breakthrough too.
#2 Create Some Space
This isn’t in giving up or backing off completely, but to create the space you need to gain some perspective. Practice some self care and the things that help you move back to the space of feeling grounded, reconnected with yourself and back into the space of feel good. Self care looks different to everyone and so I have created a list below to give you some inspiration to try out some different things and work out which one feels like it would have the most impact for you. Save it to your pinterest board or onto your phone and pick out the ones that call out to you.
I have practiced many of these different tools over the last few days, just little things that make a massive shift in pulling you out of your whirlwind and overwhelm stressful thoughts and centre you back into yourself.
#3. Tell Someone How You Are Feeling
I have put this in the self care item but wanted to expand on it a little more as I feel one of the most important things we can all do when we feel like we are struggling is to be bold and vulnerable enough to tell someone about it. The old saying goes and problem shared is a problem halved and it’s so true. You do not have to deal with all of the things you are telling yourself you do on your own, the feeling that you ‘should’ be able to handle it.
Now this isn’t about going out and moaning to anyone that will listen, no one wants to be that person, and actually constantly whining about your problems is often the very thing that attracts more of that into your life, and certainly don’t do it with people that will bring you into a cycle of a moan fest. Misery loves company right?!
You get to speak to the people who you can be open and honest with about how you are feeling, but go in with the intention of looking for solutions of how you want to move through it.
I spoke with my husband who instantly helped to make me feel better. Assuring me that all is ok and we always work through things. He took the kids out to give me some space and even made tea, we had some family time and just took the space to be with each other.
My wonderful support coach Sue, (as the amazing coach that she is, I am so grateful to have her on my team) reached out to me as she sensed that I was not quite myself and gave some support back to me.
I also got on a group call with my own coach and whooooaaaa, what a difference it made to get it all out. I literally felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I was instantly back in a space of being able to see the solutions, the way through and to reconnect with my big visions. I never underestimate the power of having a coach, and I truly believe that any woman that has ambitions, who needs to have a coach. We all have challenges we face on our journeys and we all need people that we can turn to, those we can trust, those that aren’t there in the thick the emotions our struggles bring up, who can have a different perspective of the challenge, who can help offer alternative solutions and the ability to support us in seeing another way through.
So much of what I have learnt on my own journey, and my ability to keep on going has been down to the power of working with coaches throughout my years and it has truly been such an invaluable resource, literally worth every single penny I have ever invested in myself.
#4 Identify Your Stressors
It may sound pretty obvious, but all too often we let our stressful thoughts and fear roll over and over in our heads without giving them the attention and focus that they require to even work them through.
Get your challenging thoughts out of your head and down onto paper, give them the air time that they are clearly craving for you to give them. And don’t just wallow in these thoughts, get them out, brainstorm, free write in any way you want. But then also question them. Consider if that thought is actually even true, or are you projecting yourself into something that is probably never even going to happen.
For the things that are real problems, that need action taking, brainstorm some more and consider possible solutions.
Then consider what stressful items could actually be removed. What could you close the door on and remove. To be dealt with another day??
#5 Tiny Actions
Once you have brainstormed your list of possible solutions, pick one of those and look at the actions you can take, break it down so the action remains small but it is a small step in the direction of overcoming the challenge rather than being overfaced and overwhelmed by it.
Life can feel hard at times, but know you are not alone, and also know you are so much stronger and powerful than you ever could imagine. I believe in you gorgeous and this phase won’t last forever, you CAN overcome this, just don’t give up on yourself.
It’s you amazing ladies in my tribe right here, the ones who are opening up my emails and using them to inspire change in your own life. You are the ladies that keep on pushing me, firing me up, to keep on showing up as my best self.
Know that wherever you are right now is exactly where you need to be, it’s inviting you to bring your challenges to your attention. Know that you are strong and brave enough to overcome anything, and the best of you is really yet to come.
If you are feeling these challenges but are refusing to give in on you, and want the support insight and tools to support you in powering through to the other side, The Shine Squad is a group coaching membership is ready and waiting to give you all that you need to get there.