It was one of those days when my little darling children (who are on no school Wednesdays) proceeded to trigger the heck out of me. In fact a day where everything just bugged me.
With an added extra of maybe a bit of PMT, it therefore ended with the grumpy, angry, shouty version of me. The version that never really makes me feel proud of myself, and then circle back around to feelings of guilt.
The thing is, that it wasn’t even really the kids, they were just the trigger. It was all of the other things that I had spinning around in my mind that day.
I was actually really intentional about only writing a couple of things down on my daily focus sheet because I know Wednesdays can trigger me on times when I have a lot going on. You see I get most stressed on the days I attempt to work when the kids are off school. Then because I usually can’t work or get interrupted, then I get the feelings of stress arise.
Because when stresses, challenges, emotional niggles, general life stuff shows up on a daily basis, if we don’t then deal with it there and then, it builds up and up until you get to that point when you snap.
You know the moment when your husband dares say slightly the wrong thing and you bite his f*cking head off.
Or Jane from admin makes a comment about the food you are eating and you wind up in the toilets in tears not really knowing what you are even crying about, you just feel completely exhausted and overwhelmed.
So yes, I was triggered and challenged yesterday, but I have taken the time to deal and work through those challenges so that they don’t continue to roll into today too. This is where you remember that EVERY day is a chance to start a fresh.
As I was pondering this topic, I was reminded of this as a lovely lady who had wanted to join in on the book club had found that dealing with the issues that the book was bringing up for her just felt too hard.
This is a book that encourages you to dig into the feelings and experiences of our past and guides you to discover where your current behaviors and patterns arise from. And for anyone with a challenging past this can be really hard to walk through.
For a moment though, lets just imagine your mind as being like your home. How clear/clean is your home?? There is no judgement here I am one of the messiest mofo’s you will meet BUT, I am getting so much better at this.
So most people who are generally tidy people, will clear up after themselves as they go through the day. You use something, you put it away, you do little bits of tidying and cleaning on a daily basis to keep things in order.
Now think about one of those houses that you see on TV programs like storage hoarders or how clean is your house.
You know the ones that look like they haven’t seen a tin of polish in a 1000 years and there is another 1000 years of crap piled up around you with dirt, grime and stench that makes you want to vom. Blurgh!!!
That stuff feels like an impossible task and you don’t even know where to get started. It feels big, it feels scary, it’s gross. Maybe you may even consider ‘oh it’s not that bad, I’ve managed to live this long in this mess, maybe it will just be easier to keep on living this way’.
The easy route?!?! Well yes maybe. BUT is it a happy and desirable place to live. Hell NO!!! Is living in that house, you living your best life??
With the cleaning analogy, while it can be a pain to feel like you are constantly tidying up, it’s far easier than having to clear up such a monumental mess with decades full of shite piled up to the ceiling.
And this is exactly the same with the situations that arise in your life, your challenging or negative thoughts.
It’s easy to push the negative thoughts and feelings back down at the end of the day and just choose to have a few glasses of wine instead to help you relax and forget about your troubles.
It’s easy to ignore that person that you had a fall out with instead of actually dealing with what went on, to face them in an attempt to make things right again.
It’s easy to ignore the fact that you have just gone up a dress size up and tell yourself that you are happy just as you are, even though you know your eating habits really feel out of control, especially when you are feeling emotional.
It would be easy for me to keep on shouting at my kids for their terrible behaviour rather than to dig into what’s going on and ‘why’ they are behaving in certain ways and choosing to find another way to communicate with them so that we can all feel happier and calmer. Or maybe just give them the time and attention that they are craving.
And these are not judgements, I know it because I have done all of these things too. I have been there.
We are all just coping with the hard stuff the best way we know how.
But consider…….. Is ignoring it really helping you??
Does it make your life any better, any happier??
If not, then you have to be ready and willing to change.
To stop putting off what initially feels hard.
To just take it one step at a time and decide to deal with the sh*t daily. As it arises one challenge at a time, and you do that through your daily habits and behaviors.
So thinking across all the areas of your life. With your body, with your self, your mindset, your motivation, your self belief, with the relationships with those closest to you, with your career. What are the big cleaning jobs you have been putting off in these areas?? What’s the thought, feeling or emotion that you have been avoiding?
Then get out your journal and dig into one area to start with. The one that feels the biggest and the scariest and just start digging in.
If you are feeling ready for the next level of support with this, I would love to invite you into the Get It Girl – Shine Squad as we open the doors for October and I am ready to support you through the final quarter of 2019. Where we not only help you unpack the BS that you may be struggling to deal with, but support, guide and give you the tools to really create change.
It’s not for everyone, and I’m not going to tell you that it will be easy, but it absolutely WILL be worth it
I know that because I see the changes my members are making in their own lives each and every day. I have done it, they are doing it and you can do it too.
Life can feel tough, but you are tougher
It’s a community that will shower you with love, support and guidance to make this steps towards your happiest, fullest and most awesome life.
CLICK HERE for full details.
PS – I also did a live over on our FREE community group talking more on the topic of clearing the crap daily. If you want to hear more or have any questions about the program. Go and check out the live session in our Facebook group HERE