The people you love matter and this is not just significant others, I’m talking powerful relationship with yourself, with your partner, with your kids, with your family with your best friends. The ability to connect and truly nurture the people in your life that are special to you. Some may want popularity and to know lots of people, what I believe is actually far more important is friends and relationships with depth, meaning and true mutual connection.
Think about some of your happiest memories in your life. I bet those moments were shared with other people right??
The reality is, that human beings are social animals. We are designed to live in communities and think it’s powerful to create deep connections and relationships with the people around us. When we feel connected we are able to express our true selves, to feel safe, feel heard and there is no doubt that being able to express your feelings reduces feelings of stress anxiety and depression.
There are a lot of meme’s that go around that talk about cutting out toxic people from your life and while I get the concept and agree that it’s important to surround ourselves with positive people, lets not lose sight of the fact that some people just need to be heard. If we constantly cut people out that only creates more isolation and loneliness.
We all need people in our lives, we are not designed to and shouldn’t have to do life on our own.
So think of your relationships as another form of self care and consider that having the right kind of relationships is also essential to your happiness and wellness. It’s not about having a wide network of friends, I’m not too fussed about about the amount of people I know, what I really want more of is deep and meaningful connections with the right kind of people
Research shows People who have one or more close friendships are happier. I want those who join in activities and be open, vulnerable to share true feelings and emotions.
This is something that certainly doesn’t come naturally to me. I am intorivert have often been scared to show my true self for fear of rejection or judgement, but with work and taking the time to listen and get to know others helps to build far stronger relationships and allows me to get over myself and my fears.
This isn’t to say I have never been hurt by people that are close to me either. I often see people who constantly have their guard up because of how they have been treated in the past, yet that same guard can stop you from cultivating and developing the most amazing relationships for the future.
So instead of constantly being fearful of being hurt again, what if instead you could open yourself up to the possibilities of new relationships being even better?? Because let’s face it, you are not the same person you were back then because of that relationship.
So how can we develop our relationships??
Words – Think about how you phrase things. Tell people that you love them
Listen – Look the person in the eye and take genuine interest in what they are saying and respond in encouraging ways
Take responsibility When there is conflict, know it’s ok to speak out when you are hurt but take ownership for your part in the situation and never be too proud to just say I’m sorry
Perspective – Is this true? – Often when we are triggered about something it’s usually because it’s because we are actually fearful that the thing they said may well be true.
Take time out together, date days, family days.
Remember together we are better.