#3 – Rest Your Mindset- EVERYTHING Starts With This

By Emma Colsey-Nicholls | Mindset

Mar 21

#3 – Reset Your Mindset


Literally everything starts in the mind from your thoughts, choices and reactions, and so your mindset literally is everything!!! Especially when it comes to the results and the happiness you have for your life. Here we delve into your ability to be optimistic, have an open perspective, be conscious and awakened to your choices/behaviours and how you choose to see the world.


Because once you can start to see it and believe it in your mind then it becomes a possibility for your reality. You can choose to see life as a negative, hard, scary place OR you can choose to see it as a place of infinite possibilities where everything is working for you and anything is possible.



Which one of those sounds more fun to you?? Yeah right??


Also any time you decide to move out of your comfort zone your mindset is going to be challenged, so getting into the habit of managing it will help you come to achieve more.


A “fixed mindset” assumes that our character, intelligence, and  ability are givens which we can’t change or have any control of. So for example when someone who has been trying to lose weight says ‘Oh i’m just big boned, this is just the way I am made. Or nor very smart, it runs in our family. It can cause you to stay on the safe side, and choose the easy option to affirm your existing abilities because of the great fear of failure.


A “growth mindset,” on the other hand, thrives on challenge and sees failure not as evidence of unintelligence but as an opportunity for growth and for stretching our existing abilities.


Out of these two mindsets, which we are embedded from a very early age, brrings a great deal of our behavior, our relationship with success ultimately our capacity for happiness. It says I can learn anything I want to. I can get better at anything if I put the effort in, I like trying new things. I am inspired by the success of others. My effort and attitude determine my abilities. Challenges and failures only help me grow.


As you can see. One will keep you stuck, and one will set you free.


I can now recognise times in my past when I have had a fixed mindset, we can almost use it as an excuse can’t we? It’s the reason why we failed because we are just not smart enough, fast enough, pretty enough, slim enough and that’s just how we are made and we can’t help that right, it’s just how I am made?


I freeking love working with mindset and the great realisation as we move into a growth mindset, that really anything is possible. Fu*k yeah, unicorns and all!


But it does take work, daily work, daily discovery of yourself and the stories, habits and behaviours, the ones that are serving you and the old ones that are just serving to keep you STUCK!!


The sh!t that you say to yourself ‘what the heck is wrong with me, why do I do that!?!?!

Yeah I have those moments too, I’m human and just because I work on my mindset doesn’t mean they don’t ever come up again. See that’s the thing, it’s ‘easy’ to bury your head in the sand and say ‘oh I can’t do that, it’s not for me, I’m not this or that or whatever fixed mindset excuse you want to use”.


In order to develop your growth mindset you get to recognise which are your fixed mindset thoughts that crop up, and instead of ignoring it, instead choose to lean in and question them.


And man, when you get that moment of ‘ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, so that’s why I have been doing that all these years’ , that sh!t can be deep but oh so liberating. AH-HA moments at their absolute best.


Because if you are still stuck in the same old cycle it could be a big ole red flag signaling to your that some things really have to change, have you got trapped into a fixed mindset?


So to get you started here are a few steps I use regularly to develop my own growth mindset that have changed everything for me.


1# Catch The Thought – We live mainly on automation, so many of the things that we do are on a basis that have been pre-programed over years of our experiences. Even our reactions to certain situations are put into play on a basis that it’s a learned coping mechanism. For example feelings of stress arise. Oh I know I’ll go eat sweets cos that will feel like comfort and reward for working so hard. Start paying attention to the thoughts that are running through your mind. I’m not talking about every single thought you have, jeeze you may go a little insane, BUT just start to notice the key ones that are driving your decisions and your results. Especially the decisions that you are choosing as a method of keeping you ‘safe’.


2# Set Intentions – Get clear about what it is that you want to achieve in your life and don’t just ‘think’ about them. Get specific about what you want to achieve, why you want to achieve it, and when you want to get there by. Use your planner for this and come back to your goals and intentions and review them regularly.


3# Set Power Statements – There will be days when the sh!t hits the fan, things don’t go your way and you may well feel like giving up. I like to use affirmations and power statements regularly. I will write them in my journal, of course I also go and share them on my social media, I will go in search of new ones and write them down any time I come across a good one or read a powerful statement in a book. Surround yourself with them and use them every time you noticed those fixed mindset thoughts coming into play. I also like to hit the ‘see first’ button on my favourite facebook fan pages, so that these types of quotes and inspiration are the first things that I see when I go on social media. 


4# Journal – I’m not going to go too deeply into this one, you guys know I LOVE the power of journaling (you can check out the journaling workshop HERE if you want to delve into its power a little bit more). A big part of this comes back to catching and being aware of your thoughts. So when you do catch them, come back to it in your journaling process. Work through it. Where does it come from, how have you been using that thought? Is it serving you? Ask yourself what you are grateful for. In the world of positive psychology gratitude is the one that we see pop up most often, but a big part of that is because it works. You simply cannot feel angry and grateful the same time and research shows a very strong correlation with gratitude and happiness. When you feel truly grateful for the things that you have you also feel happiness too. Grateful people have been shown to have greater levels of positive affect, a greater sense of belonging, and lower levels of depression and stress. Furthermore, efforts to make people more grateful have their own benefits. Gratitude is clearly an important part of a “good life”


5# Keep On Learning – One of the easiest ways to maintain a growth mindset it to continue to learn more. I recommend learning daily. I do this through books, audio books, podcasts , courses and programs. I particularly love audio because I can soak up some knowledge when I am out running, walking the dogs, driving around during the day, when I’m cooking or cleaning and doing more of the some boring stuff that life demands of us. Everyday is an opportunity to learn something new, that is how we grow! I am constantly working on qualifications, courses and programs. I never want to stop learning


6# Positive Focus – This is just one of modules that I teach with my coaching guys. How to turn around any negative situation into a positive one. Because EVERYTHING we experience is really an opportunity for us to learn and grow from. This one tool alone will take you from a place of victimhood to empowerment. Practice choosing to learn the lessons any time you experience negative things.


7# Get Support – If you struggle with your fixed mindset one of the easiest ways to start moving through it, is to surround yourself with other growth mindset type people. So who around you has it? Reach out to them, connect with the type of people who are already ahead of you, they are the shining light of just what IS possible.


It really is one of the HUGE bonuses of my coaching program. I simply LOVE the guys in the group. They are always in there supporting and spurring each other on and that in itself is incredibly empowering.


Living a life where you feel happy, fulfilled, healthy, successful and have FUN! Absolutely IS possible, you just have to decide that it is,  then start your journey to creating it for yourself.


Recap/ Journaling Prompts


  • What negative or fixed mindset thoughts do I often find myself saying or thinking?
  • What can I now choose to believe instead?
  • List out some power statements that you can use at the times when you feel yourself fall back into negative, stressful or fearful thought patterns


Love Always



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