Want To Succeed? STOP Doing This!

By Emma Colsey-Nicholls | Mindset

Feb 25

Want To Succeed? STOP Doing This!

 

So really how committed are you to the things that you say you want in life??

 

It’s a good question to ask yourself and I find it’s something that comes up in my journaling practice pretty often.

 

See the thing is, that we say we want something, whether that is to lose weight, to get a better job, to start working for ourselves, to learn something new, to go somewhere new, to delve into a new relationship, a better house, more free time or whatever that dream life includes.

 

But actually how committed are you to having those things?

 

There are so many people who are not willing at all. If that’s you, then no need to read on, this isn’t for you.

 

But if you are here because you know you want more for life, more health, more wealth, more happiness, more fun, more adventure, more connection then I am here for you, I believe in your and I am always striving to remind you that it absolutely IS possible to live a life you freeking love.

 

This past week I have seen it with my coaching guys and in fact my self, I’m sure there must be some weird astrology moon cycle going on or something (if you know about that stuff then let me know) because the resistance has been making itself heard.

 

For me it was nothing major, but a noticeable feeling of feeling flat. Feeling a lack of inspiration, a lack of ideas, a lack of growth or progress.

 

It’s so easy when we get into a state of what can only be described as a bit of a funk, to stay there.

 

You see what you focus your attention on is what we receive more of, and it’s soooooo easy to focus on the negatives. People can send you compliments all day long, yet if you get one negative comment, how easy is it to hold onto that negative comment for what feels like an eternity? It makes you sink emotionally and this is when we can revert to our sabotaging behaviours that keep us stuck in this exact same place.

 

You hold onto it and use it as the excuse, the reason that maybe you should just give up and maybe it’s just not meant to be after all?!?!?!

 

If you are working on a weight loss goal, this feeling can have you turn to food as you attempt to comfort and soothe the feeling with food, or maybe skip the workout in favour for the couch.

 

Becuase why is it worth the effort anyway?!?

 

If it’s business goal it can leave you starting another netflix binge instead of sitting to write out that next blog post or to work on your website.

 

If it’s a self development goal you decide to spend your money on new clothes that you really don’t need, instead of saving to pay for that course that you really want to do.

 

Any and every challenge, obstacle, resistance whatever you want to call it is just there to teach you. To guide you, to allow you to grow, it’s just feedback. And FYI, I have done ALL of the above and am still faced with these challenges regularly.

 

So how do we stop this behaviour and start to experience the success that we are striving for??

 

This is actually a process that I share as a module with my coaching guys and it’s something I refer to again and again. Because when you start to implement these steps, breakthroughs and progressions start to manifest.

 

You get to connect with YOU, to stop searching outside of yourself and go within.

 

So the first step when resistance and obstacle, a f*ck up occurs is:

 

Awearness – What is going on?? What happened?? What is this event causing you to feel emotionally? Physically and emotionally, put a name to that feeling. Are you feeling sad, frustrated, pi$$ed off, betrayed, hurt.

 

Why do I feel this way? Where does this take me back to? What does this make me feel about myself?

 

What’s the impulse?? What do i think I want to do? – Is it food? booze? slob on the couch? Spend money? Scream? Shout?

 

So all of this can happen pretty instantaneous and it can be hard to catch it in the moment. I know I often don’t catch it in time to stop the sabotaging behaviour in its tracks, so if you can’t stop the impulse as it’s happening then forgive yourself and come back to these questions after it has happened. Because revisiting it, instead of just ignoring it and hoping that next time will be better, trust me it won’t. If you want to really breakthrough it and succeed in your goals you have to delve INTO it and stop ignoring it.

 

What do you think you are getting out of this behaviour?? Is it reward? Is is comfort? Love? Is it the feeling of a time out? A break? Punishment? Confirming to yourself that you are not worthy?

 

Delve into WHY you are doing this, what are you getting out of this action. It’s not always easy to see and often where we have some of our biggest breakthroughs on coaching calls.

 

Then you get to ask yourself if that behaviour is REALLY going to give you that thing that you want? Truth is the comfort, that hug, that love, or whatever it is that you may be craving will never truly be found at the bottom of a bottle of wine or whatever your go to behaviour is.

 

Then the power questions

 

What do I really need? What will truly give me that feeling??

 

Go in search for this answer and then focus in on giving that to yourself.

 

This is where you unlock your ability to get the real results. To feel happy content, confident and immersed in growth and actually achieve the things that you say you want for your best life.

 

I really hope you get inspiration to take action on this and I would really love to hear from you.

 

Love Always

 

Emma

Ps – If you haven’t already be sure to get your copy of ‘Get Your Shit Together’ life planner. It’s my go to tool in creating more conscious awareness around your actions and behaviours. Dream big, create a plan, take action CLICK HERE to get your copy now.