These past few weeks my attention and musings have been around the thought of death. I know not the usual motivational post you may have been used to, but stick with me, I’ll have you leaving fired up if you stick with me until the end of this one.
I was reminded of a project written by a palliative care nurse from Australia called Bronnie Ware. She wrote an study which also turned into a book called the ‘Top 5 Regrets Of The Dying’.
Because isn’t that something we all fear. Living a life with regrets, things left undone, words being left unsaid, places unseen, wishes hopes and dreams being left unfulfilled?
The thing is, nothing is promised, you never know which day could be your last. So don’t you owe it to yourself, your family, your loved ones to live every day doing the things you want to do. Saying YES to the things that light you up, fill your soul that make you feel happy? Saying NO to the things that no longer serve you.
So let’s take a look into what the top 5 most common regrets of the dying actually were and dig in a little more into how they relate to you. I have also included some journaling prompts for you on each one. Write down the answers to each of these questions, notice what comes up for you and of course write out the actions that you then want to start taking action on. Remember, journaling is POWERFUL when you actually start to do it.
I can see how this was the most common regret. Something I see and hear a lot from the people that I come into contact with. It is the recurring theme of not following their dreams because of fears of what other people may think, fears of failure, fears of not measuring up or looking silly.
(** Journal question – What dreams are you currently leaving unfulfilled?)
If you want something, then go for it, it’s never too late to get started until it’s actually too late.
So stop waiting for a new month, a new year, until you have more time, until you have more money. If you just took one small action today to move you closer towards one of your dreams what would you do?
This one actually came from the majority of male patients and I think in today’s modern world of working women I feel a lot of women would feel this way too. Especially if the work you do takes you away from your loved ones, away from your passions and instead sticks you in an office doing a job you detest.
For me I absolutely love my work, so maybe something to consider would be….. Not working so hard on doing something you hate doing.
I believe in hard work, but I believe in doing it a way that feels in alignment with you. There are so many weird and wonderful industries to be a part of today, we are all so very unique and different, it absolutely is possible to have a career that you love. We are born for more than paying bills and then dying, and I believe we all have the ability to make a positive difference in the world. So if you have bills to pay, which we all do, then at least do it doing something that you enjoy.
(** Journal question: If you could have any job in the world, what would you do?)
How many of us suppress our feelings in order to just keep the peace, to not upset others, to please others and not be branded an outcast?
I feel another element of this is not only suppressing their feelings, but never really working through them on a conscious level. Like really digging into why that creates such a strong feeling for you? What is really going on beyond the surface?
Suppressed feelings can lead to increased stress, anxiety it can be the foundations for depression. Very often not feeling worthy enough of being able to express our feeling and who we truly are. This in turn can manifest into physiological symptoms and be where illness develop.
Louise Hay talks about this in one of my all time game changing books ‘You Can Heal Your Life’. If you feel like you have ever had to pack down and hide away things that have happened in the past that have never really been dealt with or processed, then definitely check out this book.
You don’t have to settle for a mediocre existence. Yes many people will, but that doesn’t have to be you. You know you were destined for something more, otherwise you wouldn’t be here reading this email. You are enough, you are worthy of being heard, you are worthy of being able to acknowledge and express how you feel, you are important in this world.
(Journaling question*** What feelings have I been suppressing? What has been left unsaid that I get to now express?)
We all need friends, we all need the love and support from others. Thankfully in the day of social media it’s never been easier to keep in touch with old friends in the virtual sense.
But how are you using this to your advantage, to really be able to connect with the people that you care about the most??
This has been a real realisation for me, especially with moving away from my hometown. I came to realise that some friendships were not what I once thought, and that’s ok, people change, we change, we get to release it and move on.
I have however spent time on the friends that really mattered. The ones where we don’t have to live inside each others pockets, yet I know if I needed to pick up the phone that that they would be there for me no questions asked.
It’s not about having a wide range of friends, it’s about the depth of friendship with a special few. That is what I feel is of real importance.
(Journaling question*** – Who are the friends that mean the most to me?
I am grateful to this person because………
How can I connect even more with this person this week?)
If I asked you to rate yourself on a scale of one to ten of how happy you are, what would be your reply?
See for me this is something I have spent a lot of time with, it’s my main goal for the people that I work with is to help them to feel happier. So many people stay stuck in old patterns and habits because they feel familiar, comfortable, maybe even considered content, but it that really happy?
Happiness is a very individual thing BUT I believe it comes from a place of connection with yourself. When you get to know yourself, love yourself and create a clear vision of what exactly does light you up. Then you can live a life that is happy and fulfilled.
Happiness is a choice, so what are you choosing on a daily, weekly, monthly basis that makes you happy?
When do you allow yourself to be silly?To be playful? When was the last time you laughed so hard you got cheesecakes (you know that pain you get in your cheeks from laughing so much)? When was the last time you took in a deep breath and thought, hell yeah life is good, this is amazing!!!!
This too can come from the little things. Yes I wake up each day feeling damn grateful for the amazing life I live. It’s not always easy, and there are so many things that challenge me daily but when I face that with a grateful heart it allows me to do it all with a smile on my face.
(Journaling point** What makes me really happy? List out all of the things that you truly love doing. Then ask how you can do these things more often. How can you bring it into your work, your hobbies, the way you connect with loved ones)
Then the final question for you to ponder is this…..
If today was to be my last day on this earth, what would be my greatest regret?
I asked myself this question last week and a few things came up for me that I too want to start taking action on. I am incredibly blessed and grateful for my life, though I found myself thinking about wanting to be out on the mountains exploring this wonderful place more than I have been.
So on Friday, after a week of putting in the work with early starts and on the computer until late. I decided to down tools and go and climb a mountain. Nature is one of the things that really makes me happy. Being immersed in it, the amazing vibrant colours, the calming effects, the sound of birdsong, the rustle of leaves and the colours of Autumn. All just my own kind of perfect bliss. I find it healing, I find it calming. I have had a tension headache for a couple of weeks and it was the first time (apart from when doing some yoga) that it completely disappeared. I thought very little about work, about money, about the house renovation, and allowed myself to just be.
That shizzle lights up my soul and makes my heart smile. The kind of things I want you to experience when you come away on retreat with me here in the mountains, this power is what I want you to be able to experience too. CLICK HERE if any of that sounded like it could be exactly what you need. To be able to take a step away, breathe and just be you.
So go on. Ask yourself, if today was your last day on this earth. What would be your biggest regret?
Because what if today you started to do something about that?
Go out, live your life, get inspired, get excited and take action on living your best life.
You are enough, and you are worth it.
PS – If you are new to journaling and aren’t really sure what you are doing with it yet, then be sure to check out the Journaling Workshop. It’s really your beginners guide in getting to grips with this powerful tool. CLICK HERE to find out more and get access.