Ok sounds a little aggressive, but I know you have been there. Me too!!
I saw a funny video yesterday, which was mainly office workers completely flipping out and smashing things up. I know you have all probably felt like this at some point, if we didn’t the video would have the 13 million views it has.
Take a look
Or maybe if you’re a mum like me these moments come when the kids start to test your patience.
I started thinking about it this morning as I was doing my morning journaling and study.
The relationships that we have with the people around us are a reflection of the relationship with have without ourselves, weather that is the relationship with your work colleague who you could quite happily throw your keyboard at, or your child who you are seriously considering giving away (you know I’m kidding, right)
Think about someone who bugs the hell out of you, makes you want to squeeze your fists and arrrrgh!!! Yeah I know you have been there.
Then write down the three things that bug you the most.
Then ask yourself, when am I like that? When do I do the same things?
OR is that behaviour something that I believe to be true because of a past experience?? E.g. you believe all men are assholes and can’t be trusted because a man has miss treated you that way in the past. So Stu who sits 2 desks away is kinda good looking but you just decide he is an asshole and bugs the hell out of you with his ‘I’m so perfect’ persona because you already believe that ALL men are areseholes
OR another example
A child who constantly is asking questions, in fact he never actually shuts the hell up, the constant asking what’s that? Why does it do that? Yap yap yap yap
As this is one of my bugbears that easily gets me riled up about Clayton, I dig into and I am like wholly shit that is me!!! and what’s more it’s a trait that I encourage. Always be asking questions, yet I am getting annoyed with him for it!!
Doing this process can be a big wake up call.
You see, we cannot change other people, we can only change ourselves.
So when you notice the behaviour that has been bugging you so much in someone else, recognise it. Ask yourself the above questions and then, be willing to let it go OR BE WILLING TO CHANGE YOURSELF.
Because the actual act of this pent up aggression is only harming you.
Stop blaming other people and look at yourself.
When you look within you realise that YOU are the one with the power to change things. You cannot change things if you stay in the space of being a helpless victim.
And once you start to change you will soon notice that they too start to change as a result.
Recognise the behaviours, allow yourself to take a step back before you react, start to look within.
And if these situations keep on cropping up take the time to focus on YOUR happy. Do the things that help you to feel calmer, more relaxed to restore and recharge.
Because when you allow yourself that you reclaim your power 10 fold and none of the stupid’s in the office will be able to dull your shine.
And that always come from just bringing your focus back to YOU.
Emma ‘Feeling Calmer’ Colsey-Nicholls
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